Back To My Roots Where I Came From - PurpleMoon at Gypset.

I recently received a note card from someone requesting to be put on the waiting list for the PurpleMoon Bloggers. The note was very sweet and complimentary to me.  In another SL life (another life, not another Avi...I have lived all my SL lives as Bella), this person remembered me from when I attended classes and lectures at an educational facility for the BDSM lifestyle in SL.  It is something I have been curious about in RL but never had the chance to experience, so SL being SL, I have had my share of being collared.  This young model went on to say some very sweet things to me.  I had just recently read her blog and her experience with a recent modeling competition, so when I got her NC, I knew who she was.  I apologized for not remembering her from the D/s sim we both used to go to. She said she knew I left that place and how I had "taken off" in the fashion world since then. (I had been doing fashion for a solid year before attending this sim, but even I have to admit, in the past 6-7 months I am truly blessed with all the amazing opportunities coming my way).  D/s is not a part of my SL that at this time, it does not hold the importance it once did.  Bad experiences, and just exploring new things in SL.  More so bad experiences...and the desire to be free and to hold my own power for just a bit. 

Does that mean I stopped being who I was back then?  Absolutely not.  Those feelings are still there, just the need to explore them further at this point are not.  It's a part of who I am.  Do I call myself a submissive anymore?  No, I don't. I say that I am a submissive woman but I truly do not think I am a sub.  Do I look down on women or men who do?  Absolutely not. I know the strength that it takes to be collared.  While I may not possess it I have been close to those who have and a big part of me admires them.  Did "50 Shades of Grey" get me all hot and bothered....in more ways than one. Do I enjoy a man who takes charge?  Yes. Do I love to argue...You betcha. Have I met anyone on SL that I would consider a true Dominant...yes...two men...One the head of the Sim I once went to and actually an old Dom of mine and now a dear friend, Elef. Do I believe there are true submissives on SL yes but they are fewer and more far between than the true Dominants.  Do I trust others enough to put my best interests ahead of their own, especially in SL....not an ice cubes chance in hell. Am I the same person I was back then...well..yes and no.

 I don't think anyone is the same person today as they were yesterday.  Are my core values the same? Of course, probably even stronger.  Honestly, those who say "I am the same exact person today as I was yesterday...last week....last month..last year..10 years ago" scare the ever living sh*t out of me.  How can you be the same person? Did you live under a rock and not have ANY experiences that caused you to question what you know or thought to be true?  Nothing forced you to look within yourself and grow?  You are the exact same? Scary and at the same time I pity those people. To live a stagnant life is very sad to me. Some people do it cause they don't want to get hurt....well I don't know anyone who wants to EMOTIONALLY get hurt, but it's the pain and the hardships that help us to grow.  I can honestly say I have very few regrets in my life because I chose to learn and grow from my experiences.  There can be no regrets, in my opinion, if you chose to live that way. Do I wish I did things differently sometimes, yes...and the next time a situation comes up I know "Don't do that again". But just like a tree grows up and out, we are firmly logged down by our strong roots.  Which is why I chose to broach this subject in a Back To My Roots post...something I have not done in a long time. Something I probably should do more of.  I do them for very selfish reasons...to remind myself that at any moment, my sponsors could go away, my SL jobs that provide me with the Linden to go shopping can poof in a second and I would be back to being Bella, the Poor, who could only afford to dress the way she wants to thanks to discounts, fairs, markets and group gifts.

 So while, to others, it seems as my life has done a complete 180 degree turn...I know, deep down, that my roots are strong. I may have many more branches, I may be closer to the sun, but deep down, where only those who take the time to really dig deep, they will see my roots are the same.  I have more rings on the inside, I have the marks from the storms I have weathered but my roots keep me true to myself. Sometimes, the more we succeed, the higher we grow, the harder it is for us to see our roots.  But we should never ever forget the are there and we should always take time to tend to them.

Hair/Hairbase - Dora Faux Hawk in Black VI - MADesigns/KMADD

Eye Shadow - Combo of Twice Shy in Selfish Silver and Lying Eyes in Dark Red - Both by Madrid Solo

Lips - Liquid Lips in Rouge - Mad'

Jewelry - Nor Mystic Infinity Set - Lazuri

Dress - Luisana Dress in Zebra - PurpleMoon Creations at the Gypset Market

Shoes - Cuore in Red Passion - N-Core

Poses - Taken from the Giz and Ambiorix Sets - Posesion