Not Quite Wonderland - Featuring Nya's Shop

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I have been severely lacking in my postings lately.  I wish I could just say that it's cause I am so busy in rl.  But that would be not the case.  I have been feeling uninspired to blog.  Not because I have stopped styling. I still love to do that, but because as of late, I hate just posting pictures with links on where to get the clothing. I always wanted my blog to be more.  There are so many fashion blogs out there that do just that, and while I think it's great that so many people are blogging different styles and designers, well, looking at pictures after a while can be frankly, boring.  The blogs that I love to read...and to be honest there are VERY few, always have something outside of the realm of fashion to say. I have tons of pictures I have taken....but they lay on my desktop unused cause I found I have nothing to say, or worse, that I have lost my voice.  I admire those who feel they can eloquently put pen to paper and have their ideas flow so easily..writing every single day.  As someone who has a learning disability in RL (AD/HD) I find sometimes communicating what I feel down on paper extremely confusing and frustrating.  Not that it is any easier verbally sometimes, but I always feel that I am misunderstood a lot of the times with the written word, especially when it is something or someone I feel passionate about. 

 

One of the most common misconceptions and jokes even about Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder is that those who have it just can't pay attention.  Nothing can be further from the truth. Those who know me well know that I can do the opposite...hyperfocus. In rl if I am absorbed in something...say a book or a tv show or a project, someone can be standing right next to me and saying my name and I won't hear them. I am not ignoring them, I honestly do NOT hear them.  One thing that many people do not know about AD/HD is that it does affect one's ability to communicate effectively.  When I was diagnosed at 28 years of age, that was the hardest symptom of the disorder for me to come to terms with.  At that time I was a struggling actor living and working in NYC...my job was to communicate.  I was amazing with other people's words, but with my own, I fell flat.  I put up walls, it was and still is, easier to stay silent instead of bearing the pain of being misunderstood. When I do let someone in, I get hurt very easily if I feel they misunderstand me.  I let them in in the first place because I feel like they get me.  I am not saying only those with AD/HD feel misunderstood.  That would be a ludicrous and asinine statement to make.  I am only writing from my perspective.  I always only write from MY perspective.  I never assume to speak on behalf of anyone else.

I feel like my inability to communicate can also lead me to heart break.  I am so scared of losing those I care about off, that maybe I don't say what I need and expect from a relationship as much.  I am the kind of person that if someone who I care deeply about says "this is important to me" I remember it and I honestly try to do it.  So when the same is not given back to me, I get hurt and deeply.  Sounds slightly co-dependent I know, but honestly, I have not met a single person in sl or rl who does not display some kind of co-dependent tendency. I have learned to not ask nor expect a lot from most people. This is something I am working on myself because I realize depending TOO much on people is just as bad as feeling as you can not depend on anyone. Or there is always a price that is to be paid when you do depend on someone. Things look perfect from the outside, but it's not quite Wonderland.  Or maybe it is.  Wonderland was a very dangerous place with disappointments and traps around every corner.

Hair - Giz Type A in Onyx - D!VA at the Arcade Gatcha Event

Eyeliner - So Cute in Black - Mons

Lipstick - Lumina Lips in Fruitpuch - Glamourize (30 Colors for 33L on MP)

Jewelry - Goddess Dark Silver Jewelry Set - Aphrodite Fashions

Nails - Seven Deadly Sins Envy 3D Nails - Moondance Boutique

Shirt - I Love You Tank Top - Nya's Shop

Pants - Samba Capri Pants - Nya's Shop

Sneakers - Plain - Nya's Shop

Location Shot at Almost Wonderland; Mandi Isle Sim