The one thing that has always made me see red is when people say "It's only SL." They say it for a myriad of reasons....To excuse their own bad behavior, to try to diffuse someone else when they feel passionate about something in SL...more than not, it's a statement that is never said in a positive way. Should you forsake your RL for SL. Absolutely not. Just like you should not forsake a beautiful day outside for a day in front of the television by yourself in your house. Too much of anything isn't healthy. (Even though I am seriously debating that statement when it comes to chocolate). Balance is where it's at...moderation in everything...even in the occasional hedonistic behavior.
After almost 3 years in SL...most of which my RL was not going the way I had wanted, I am finding a balance between SL and RL, but with less time on SL, I know find I have to find a new balance. Between doing all that I loved and wanted to do on SL in a much shorter time frame. I realized, after being removed as a blogger from a designer I had been sponsored by for almost two years for not posting anything of theirs in over two months, that when you try to get balance, you do have to give some things up. It's just not humanly possible to do everything. My pride was hurt more than anything when I was removed. Yes it was the rule that was put into place after I was asked to blog for them, so I do understand it. If this had happened this time last year, I would have be utterly devastated. Now, extremely mild disappointment, and a slightly bruised ego...we are all replaceable. A lesson I should have remembered from my days in the RL performing arts. Everyone has an understudy. Does that mean YOU personally are replaceable. Of course not. But in the world of anything that is a business...someone can also do the job.
This brought me to a wonderful realization though. One that I had been told many times by others, but it never fully sunk in, as in most things, you often need to realize them for yourself. In finding this balance, I found a freedom as well. I am here less and less...so why spend it in misery doing what others want me to or what I THINK they want me to and not actually doing what *I* want to do. That's when I came to a decision. I was very fortunate in the past few months, early on in my little modeling career, to make the finals in two pageants and also walk in a wonderful charity runway show. I had the most fun walking in the 2LEI Domestic Violence awareness show. There was no stress (For me, the walking hanger), no competition, no real worrying about someone trying to screw up the show. I loved it. The competitions were fun in their own way, but so much stress, so much worrying OMG will the judges like me. So much caring about what others thought. So at this point, for me to find my balance, I have decided to make the ultimate step "Back to My Roots" and step away from the whole pageant competition thing and concentrate on my blog and hopefully doing the occasional runway show and print modeling in SL. So for now I am not stepping away from modeling, but from the competitions.
I want to go back to why I all started this...because I love the amazing creations of the wonderful SL Fashion designers I am so blessed to work with every single day. Gizza Creations was actually the second design how that I started to officially blog for. Gizza Creations and PurpleMoon Creations are actually the two fashion houses that made me want to blog and model. I loved wearing the amazing designs of Giz, Auster and Poulet. I still do. Sometimes, as a stylist, even if a creation is amazing, it doesn't always inspire me. Gizza never fails to inspire me. I put on the gorgeous Gilda Mesh gown...blown away by the mesh skirt and I was instantly transported to smokey jazz clubs and cabaret acts of the 1940's and 50's. Tabata Jewel of Vanity Hair....well just look at any blog post. More often than not I am wearing one of her amazing hairs. New designers also inspire me, and while I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the work of Yula Finesmith and Belle Rousseau, Zuri Lyric of Lazuri Jewelry is a new inspiration for me. Her jewelry is stunning, detail orientated, easily menu modified and she is a name that is rising fast and furious in the fashion world.
And that is another reason I have made the choices I have made. I don't want to compete with my fellow stylists. I want to go back and be inspired by them. No matter how kind hearted you may be, when you compete, no matter what you tell yourself, you want to win. I know I get into this horrible mindset of picking my competition apart. Thinking of reasons other than ability why they won over me. It's a horrible place to be mentally and can make you extremely jaded and bitter. And for me, that's not what SL is about...it's not what I want my SL to be about...cause it's not what I am about...SL or RL.
Hair - Visionaire in Jet Black - Vanity Hairs
Eyeshadow - Drama Black Eyeshadow in Black/Red - Glamorize
Lipstick is part of my Skin - Glam Affair
Nails - Mesh Nails in Scarlet - Leverocci
Jewelry - En Tournant Complete Collection - Set to Black Onyx/Platinum - Lazuri
Gown - Gilda Gown in Black - GizzA Creations
Standing Microphone Prop w/Poses - Fetish Cabaret - Chanimations/devious Minds
Photos Taken on Location at the Flume Jazz Club on the Roaring 20's Chicago RP Sim.
A big Thank You to Persia Bravin for taking the time to help a stranger find the kick ass microphone pose prop!!
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